I have never felt so paniced before in my life. Im going to visit my sister in germany for 4 days on 23rd march. Im so fat from this damn recovery programme and she just text to tell me shes got the ballet tickets and that i need to bring some swimming stuff. OMG. LIKE HELP, all i can think to do is fast, and fast i shall.
I havent ran in about 4 months, and i bought some new trainers, a calorie counter attatchement and something for my ipod to slot into so i can listen to music, but im just so scared that im going to run like 500m and then not be able to do anything else. I will look a complete fool :( and thats stopping me from going, i dont want people to be like, 'HAHAHA WHAT AN AMATEUR, SHE CANT EVEN RUN FAR' Im so fat i'm planning on fasting friday-sunday evening. Hopefully i cant drop some weight and atleast look a little better, monday i have a driving lesson, so i may eat in the morning, omg eating doesnt even bare thinking about :( I just want to die, i am going to be so embarresed in a swimming costume.
Im going to tell my sister, i refuse to eat more than 1 meal a day, and that 1 meal has to be healthy. She cant complain, she always makes me feel fat anyway, so it will be easy, we will be busy, she is horrible and i hate swimming costumers/bikinis. OMG :(
I took 10 laxatives due to the panic induced by the text from my sister. I am now lead on my bed with the best blanket in the world, and my hot water bottle, after writing this post i shall procced to watch breakfast at tiffinys.
Today i ate half a cheese sandwich (170), 200g mango (120), a slice of cake, FAT BITCH (300), and 1 grape (3)
I took 10 laxatives due to the panic induced by the text from my sister. I am now lead on my bed with the best blanket in the world, and my hot water bottle, after writing this post i shall procced to watch breakfast at tiffinys.
Today i ate half a cheese sandwich (170), 200g mango (120), a slice of cake, FAT BITCH (300), and 1 grape (3)
95 pounds I'm sure will look great in a swimsuit. I would kill to weigh that. I know you can't see it though.
ReplyDeleteAs for running, I'm so out a shape I can barely run a quarter of a mile without getting out of breath. Talk about fat ass.
Feel better and remember you can do this!