I think think people understand that when i say im scared i mean terrified, terrified of myself beucase im so destructive than given even 1 day alone i will focus every ounce of that time of starving, cutting, laxing, basically i spend my whole entire life that is spend alone planning my down fall. Anorexic has nicely glamourised my downfall into something magical and something i am not working hard to achieve beucase this just seems so glamourous i cant acutally wait to reach it. I cant wait to reach the point where im so skinny i can hardly function, i mean wtf, this is ridiculous. Ive lost 6lbs in 10 days, its not a great deal, but its quite alot considering 3 days of it were spend with my little love.
Im just ridiculous, i cant wait to die, im so distructive i actually want to laugh and die and become like a bag of bones and live this glamourous skinny life that ive told myself i will get once im skinny. Who the fuck am i kidding, nice clothes are already to fucking big for me, so what part of my brain comes up with clothes will look nicer on me when im 80lbs, 70lbs, 60lbs, DEAD.
cw 91
gw 90
Me doesnt want to die, but anorexia wants me to die.
Me doesnt want to die, but anorexia wants me to die.
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