I really just want to be strong and happy and healthy. Full of life and joy and happiness and laughter. I was, once, a few years back, and i thought i was slowly getting back the things i was the more time i spent with my little love. But its just crashing and burning lately. Its a mess, all becuase of me, and becuase of that mess ive taken away the things i want and the things he wants.
It sucks knowing my moments of stupidity have meant i am not never going to be deserving of living the life i wanted. Im going to be stuck in a rut of starvation, laxatives, binging, and depression.
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
I wish my mind was clear and thoughtless, because my thoughts are killing me and destroying me. Im stuck and i have no escape but all i want to do is run. I wish i could just run and hide, but you cant escape your mind, so im stuck torturing myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 364 days a year. I really wish i could just curl up and ignore it all.
I know exactly how you feel! But the key is wanting to recover, seeing a future for yourself. As long as you have hopes and dreams you can do it! It will take a lot of hard work and at times you will feel totally defeated but as long as you hold on you can do it.
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