gross

3lbs gain, oh fuck my life, (92) ive decided to take the 'recovery' root i.e an getting fat, getting cellulitey, getting disgusting and ruining my body even more but the complete fucking opposite way, i feel so cold towards it, i see it as pointless, it will end up in me become seriously depressed, cutting all the time, not talking to anyone, but hey, thats better than being skinny and happy with myself right? :/ We'll see what happens, still gota get down to 80lbs for my holiday though, then i will either work to maintain it, or try to gain a little, probably just maintain, focus on being healtihier, i mean i was quite happy with myself at 83lbs last summer/autumn, so prehaps i will be extra happy with 80lbs.

I mean, im guna be gross all my fucking life anyway, may aswell just kill mysef now instead of inflicting the pain of myself upon people.

The fact my legs are wider that my torso makes me want to be sick so fat, watch out, miss thunder-thighs is coming through!