Im getting really angry with myself today.

Im letting myself go back to stage why. Im throwing away so much food and its costing my mum so much money and its pissing me off. I want to stop doing it but i cant. Why should i give a shit if im costing her money. The bitch came into my bedroom and wrote her weight all over my mirrors in eyeliner thinking it was funny that her weight was the sign of a devil. FUCK you you fat midget, im actually sick of it. You dont give a shit about me, so why shuld i give i shit about the money im costing you. I dont even have the right to eat the food in the first place, why would she buy food for me? She comes into my room and can see all the fucking notes  ive got everywhere and the scales in the middle of my room and all the dietertic packs in my bin, ive got to the point where i dont hide it because she just doesnt give a fuck about it. Then she complains when she asks for a shopping list and i ask for something new. I dont care if i have 20 fucking cans of tuna in the cupboard, i want fucking beans this week. UGHHHHHHHH.

I want out of this, i want out of this house, out of this family, and out of this fucking torture. I hate myself, i hate food, i hate life, i hate my reflection, i hate me, i hate being alive. i hate fucking everything, i hate dust so much right now.