Old habits die hard.

Exercising, fasting and laxatives. When is this gonig to end. Prehaps when everything goes back to how it was. But thats never going to happen so this is never going to end. I did 2 hours on the exercise bike, omg, my bum is raw, i dont think i have any skin left on it, but im doing another 2 hours tomorrow. I also did 1200 resistant lifts, i dont know how to explain them, all i know is they make me feel like my arms are going to fall of and im about to faint, so works for me haha. I shall do them again tomorrow. My mum is also helping me sort the tredmil out, im going to do 20-30minutes high speed running on that aswell to burn abou 300calories off. Ohh i love buring calories, its replaced that pit in my stomach that makes me feel sick when i realise the person i love is talking to other girls. It makes me cry and want to die, so then i over-exercise and i feel all better, until i cry again and have to repeat. And it will always feed off the emotional hurt that i get from seeing you living your life pleasantly without me.

Sorry for being gone for a while by the way x

"The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love - the same love that is motivating your questioning - immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love. It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it. Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more. Ask her if she would rather you gave her love or analyzed her when she is upset. It’s so easy to give her love; it’s what both of you really want anyway. But as a man you are more likely to try to fix her. That’s exactly not what she wants, and exactly what will make the situation worse, most of the time."

- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man