"The thought of death isnt what scares me though, what scares me if the thought of not being with you once im gone, what if we are seperated, never to be together again. You might call it destiny, but fuck destiny, im killing myself for you, so i can be with you at peace forever, so you can forgive me, what happenes if we arent together once it all happens?"
I think the amount of love i have for this boy is pretty ridiculous, and i think its really time to try to move on, becuase he doesnt care anymore. Infact im wondering 'did he ever care?' because the more i think about out relatipship, the more i realise i was just another fuck to him. When i didnt want sex because i felt fat he would get in a mood with me, when i talked about how i felt he would just shout at me, when he was with his friends he wouldnt look at me, and 'i love you' was only said in person when i said it first. It hurts to think i meant nothing to you, and it hurts to think you can just get on with you life, while im left here punsihing myself becuase i meant nothing to you.
i love you. i fukn love you and it took every ounce of strength i could muster to hang o as long as i could. i miss u every single moment of the fukn day. i lie awake missing u every single nt. i have no future anymore but i left because of the pain...and this is wat u think of me. of us. i left because i couldnt hurt anymore and i thought maaybe cuting u out of my life would cut the pain out of my heart but it turns out it just made it a thousand times fukn stronger. and this, this is wat u think of me, of us. well fuk u. turns out i was right all along. theres only one way out for me. c u on the other side. goodbye xx
ReplyDeleteHow can i think it? You got rid of me from your life in the space of 24hours, what am i supposed to think tyrone. Id never do that to you, becuase i love you, and even if i hated you i wouldnt do it, becuase id be able to accept the fact that you still had feelings for me. Id never hate you in the first place, but thats besides the point. And its true, you used to fight with me if i didnt want sex with you, you would go off in a mood. Everytime i had a tough time eating you would get lairy with me, or you would cause a fight and accuse me of 'not trying'. You deleted me from your life, not the other way around, so dont say 'well fuk u', becuase you caused yourself to multiply that pain, i begged for you back, but you blocked me, im still sat here begging, every post i publish on here i talk about you in some riddled way. You dont accept the fact i love you, you think im evil and heartless, but im not!
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